she was so not down for the gang bang
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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