we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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