The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize