I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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