there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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