she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize