woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
