I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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