There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
