2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
