How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
