That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
there's paper in my vomit.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I FOUND THE LEGS
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
