My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
