All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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