remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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