u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
