after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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