It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
