The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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