Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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