Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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