Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You can't just leave with hair like that
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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