His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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