I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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