i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
