What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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