I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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