please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
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Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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