Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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