Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
barbara walters just said penis...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How's work?
Spinning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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