i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Success! We fucked roommates!
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