True but thats because hes a fetus.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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