Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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