I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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