Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
