Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
