somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
