i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
