So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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