I am in a vortex of obligation.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
