She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize