part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
birth control should be required to get into college
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
