ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize