My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize