Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
