If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
