With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
