Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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