We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
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What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize