So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
