i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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