I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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