i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
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