You work out of a Hotel?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
