You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
The air was thick with penises
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
