I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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