Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
