I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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