He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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