Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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